As you progress through your adolescent years and into young adulthood, it’s natural for your connection with your parents to become strained.
You’re figuring out who you are and what you stand for, and you’re becoming your person. Yet it seems like every time you turn around, they’ve come up with a new way to keep you caged in and unable to speak up.
- Nag you over your homework, grades, and college applications.
- Exhibit distrust about those with whom you spend time.
- Impose a limitless number of rules and punishments.
Such types of parental “hatred” are typically just a longing to help you become the person you would like to be. These restrictions, as obnoxious as they are, are usually the result of love.
Why Do My Parents Hate Me?
Although your parents may not despise you, they may struggle to express their affection or convey expectations with empathy and understanding.
Your parents and other influential grownups may have influenced how you perceived the world as a child.
Therefore, during your adolescent years and thereafter, you begin to have your friendship circle, musical preferences, sense of fashion, favorite celebs, and possibly even ideologies or other viewpoints on significant matters.
It’s important to remember that this is a time of transition that most, though not all, teenagers undergo.
It can become a bit problematic for your parents as they have spent a good amount of time and effort nurturing you and must now take steps of letting go. They could be worried about you pushing limits as they lose power over so many areas of your life.
They may well be concerned about the type of grownup you will evolve into. We’ll discuss what this implies to you as well as how to respond to it in this post.
You Feel They Don’t Understand You
The world you’re about to embrace is not exactly like the ones your parents grew up in. This could feel that they don’t empathize, but keep in mind that they were once your age and went through most of these similar emotional responses.
It’s fine if both you and your parents have divergent interests and perspectives; however, try to communicate with them honestly so that you can begin to appreciate one another. This may help these changes go more seamlessly. You could still share a powerful connection despite how far off you evolve.
Simply inform them about you. Even if they don’t like all of your stuff, there can be some mutual interests.
You Look Very Different From Them
With your hairdo, clothes, and body art, you make a statement. You’re advertising your affiliation to the entire world.
If you have a counter-culture outlook, your parents may be concerned as well. Parents may become concerned if their children do not adhere to social norms.
They’ve either forgotten about their rebellious days, or they’re afraid that if you revolt, you’ll follow in their footsteps. It’s important to remember that your parents may not favor all of your choices, which is alright; they are still yours to make.
Furthermore, what is extreme today may not be extreme tomorrow. Tattoos, which were traditionally frowned upon, have grown much more common and acceptable in recent years.
Hair with neon streaking is currently trendy, even though it was once only worn by rock bands.
This is because when people get older, the activities they did as youngsters no longer seem strange. They’ve finally caught up with the rest of the globe.
A night of family movies showcasing extremism in their own time may serve as a reminder to your parents that what begins as fads or trends frequently becomes the norm as time passes.
Parents are encouraged to set realistic limitations and goals for their children to establish boundaries. This is the way they approach your overall development and community awareness. They want you to know that there are rules to follow and that breaching them has repercussions.
Parents use several methods for teaching accountability and many other life lessons to their kids. If your parents keep you from going out all night, skipping school, or hanging out with folks who could be a terrible influence, they don’t despise you. These are, in fact, indications that your parents care about you.
They will not encourage you to develop unhealthy habits, associate with hazardous people, or fail to fulfill your obligations.
How To Deal With Your Concerns?
If you still feel that you feel irritated or stressed around your parents and their actions here is what you can do.
Communication Is the Key
You could try and explain why some restrictions or remarks regarding your interests irritate you so much.
Regardless of how precisely you believe you’re explaining yourself, they perceive something quite different, and practically every discussion devolves into a dispute that results in even more damaging sentiments.
When this happens repeatedly, you may begin to suspect that they are deliberately misinterpreting you to make your life as difficult as possible. In most cases, this isn’t true. Learning new communication strategies, on the other hand, can often result in more fruitful talks.
- Schedule time to discuss. If you want to talk about anything significant, asking ahead of schedule can guarantee that they will have time to give you the care you require.
- I-statements should be used. This approach to dialogue stresses your feelings and views while avoiding accusations.
- Listening. Of course, you want to communicate your sentiments, but you should also listen whenever they do. If you disagree with their point of view, pause until they’ve done speaking before posing questions or requesting more details.
- Always be courteous. It’s distressing when parents don’t care about your viewpoint, but it’s alright to be frustrated. Be sure to express yourself respectfully.
Reach Out To Other Adults
Talking to people who understand can also be therapeutic. Look for help from friends or other grown-ups. Having a different outlook and being reassured that this, also, shall pass can sometimes be comforting.
If your issues appear to be complex, you should seek professional help. Therapy is a confidential and anonymous approach to discuss your feelings and views. We hope this article has given you a better perspective about how to deal with this phase you are going through.