Bisexuality is not an unknown term today. For most people, it means a deviant kind of lifestyle in which a person is attracted to and has sex with both males and females. It’s the word “deviant” that is so bothersome. In 2023, it’s time to recognize that there are many gender identities and that all of them are valid for those people who hold them.
Dispelling the Myths
There are common misconceptions about bisexuals that any of them will tell you must be dismissed.
- This is not a phase. Being bisexual, whether a person acts upon it or not is a true identity.
- Bisexuals do form long-term monogamous relationships, just like anyone else. Some cheat on their partners; some never do, just like cheating can occur within all relationships
- Bisexuals are not attention-seekers. Most, in fact, do not make their sexuality wildly public, usually out of fear of being scorned or avoided
- Bisexuals are no more promiscuous than straights, gays, or lesbians.
- Bisexuals are not “confused,” and they will not ultimately “outgrow it.”
More than these myths, there are some other things bisexuals want others to know and understand. Maybe it’s time for us to dig a bit deeper into bisexuality through the eyes of those who identify as having this gender.
One of the best ways to do this might be to get online and join a bi chat group. As you do this, be a listener, not so much a speaker. You may come to discover that bisexuals have many of the same ideas, priorities, opinions, and challenges as you do. Barring that, however, you should know what bisexuals want you to know about them. Here’s a short list.
It’s Not a “Half-and-Half” Situation
Bisexuals dislike being asked if they have a preference for men or women. They may have phases in which they prefer one or the other or may never act upon their attractions at all. Every bisexual is an individual in terms of their romantic and sex life, so leave it that way. Just don’t ask.
Bisexuals Feel Isolated
Even within the LGBTQ community, bisexuals often suffer from what is called “bi-erasure,” a failure of others to give their identity recognition and validity. As a result, they tend to live “in the shadows.” Because of this, they can suffer greater anxiety and depression but may hesitate to get the counseling they may need. In short, they feel as though they just don’t belong in any community other than other bisexuals.
Bisexuals Fear Rejection in the Dating World
When a bisexual is attracted to someone, they may not want to reveal their sexuality out of fear of rejection. Many others believe the myths that were listed above or just cannot accept the fact they may have had sex with their same gender.
Bisexuals Want to be Seen as More Than Their Gender Identities
Whether we are single, married, straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, or any other sexual identity, we all are much more than that. We have jobs/careers; we have outside interests and hobbies; we have causes we support and values and beliefs we live by. In short, everyone is far more than just their romantic and sex lives.
Bisexuals want to have relationships based on things that are fully unrelated to their sexuality.
You Can Be an Ally
Certainly, you don’t have to adopt a bisexual as your best friend. But you can be an ally of sorts. If and when you are part of a discussion about members of the LGBT community and the topic of bisexuality comes up, you can help to dispel the myths surrounding them. As well, help others to see that all members of this community are far more than their sexual identities.